Making Wedding Plans

When Braquel and Keven announced their plans to get married last summer, I didn't think much about it. After all, they had been seeing each for 4 years, living together for a year, and we had kind of known this was coming. Now, we are actively planning the wedding. We are starting to purchase some of the details of the wedding. Now, it's becoming real. Now, I'm not sure how I feel about this whole thing.

Sunday night, I was looking at You Tube to try and find some ideas for the father/daughter dance. We had talked about a few songs, but had never come up with just the right one. As I clicked from one song to another, I was flooded of memories of my sweet little girl. Then I started thinking about how we'll never have her at three years old singing Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree. We will never have her first day of kindergarten. The wedding is it; it's the last of the last we will have with her. She's all grown up and ready to be on her own; now someone else is responsible for her happiness. It's a little more than I can take in right now! I start crying every time I think about it.

I'm not sure that I can make it through all the planning and worse, the actual day. I'm a mess already, how will I get through her big day without being a total cry baby? Chelsey and Gary both keep asking me if I am premenstrual because I just keep tearing up. Hopefully, as things progress and time passes I can come to grips with the whole idea of losing one of my babies.

On a brighter side, I keep telling myself that without the wedding part, I'll never get the grandchildren part!